Call of the Black Panther - Expanding History

I have just completed a somewhat intense overhaul of Chapter 2 with the assistance of Boxjelly1.  Her insightful comments led me to expanding an important scene where the main character (Irene) learns about her past.  It's interesting looking back to when you originally wrote a story and psychoanalysing why it was formed a certain way, particularly in the case of most of my stories since they were completed many years ago. 

Call of the Black Panther was envisioned late in grade 8 after I finished 'Beneath the Surface' (another story that needs heavy editing) and was finished in late high school.  Reading over the original version now I can see how action and romance rather than detail were my priorities.  Chapter 2 provides a lot of context and background for Irene as well as the reader but both of these aspects were glossed over in the first draft so I could get to the more interesting stuff.  With a publication date of spring 2015 I need to ensure that this story is in tip-top shape so I cannot assume that readers will be able to read my mind.

I'm a bit concerned that Chapter 2 now contains too much 'tell' and not enough 'show' but since this section of Irene's life is what I chose to focus on I must do my best to bring clarity to her narrative.  In addition to Irene's familial history the Chapter also touches on Creature thoughts and experiences with Humans, enriching the social environment of this story.  I'm much more confident in its state now but it and Chapter 3 will probably require some more touching up before I'm completely satisfied (or as satisfied as an author ever is).

Below is a short excerpt for your reading pleasure:

“A little over a decade ago Humans established a research post on the western edge of our island. After the casualties suffered during our last encounter the Tribes were hesitant to engage them until we could discern their intentions. When it appeared that they were minding their own business in the structure our people ignored them.” 

Tom strode to the Cat Tribe leader’s other side, his arms crossing over his chest as he favoured her with a frown. Arminius remained motionless near the window. 

“Your father was a young man then but his ambitions were well-formed. He was a wandering male when he began courting your mother. We’re not sure what his original intentions were towards her – whether he was simply interested in learning more about Humans or whether it had been his plan from the start to court her. Regardless, Sandra Melina, a Human scientist studying biology, fell in love with him.”

At first Alan’s words rolled off Irene like water. After several seconds of silence in which the elder appeared to be trying to read her thoughts Irene’s brain began to process the implications of his words. My mother, a Human?" 

Beautiful image depicting memory by Gondalier