I have just completed a somewhat intense overhaul of Chapter 2 with the
assistance of
Boxjelly1. Her insightful comments led me to expanding an
important scene where the main character (Irene) learns about her
past. It's interesting looking back to when you originally wrote a
story and psychoanalysing why it was formed a certain way, particularly
in the case of most of my stories since they were completed many years
ago.
Call of the Black Panther was envisioned late in
grade 8 after I finished 'Beneath the Surface' (another story that needs
heavy editing) and was finished in late high school. Reading over the
original version now I can see how action and romance rather than detail
were my priorities. Chapter 2 provides a lot of context and background
for Irene as well as the reader but both of these aspects were glossed
over in the first draft so I could get to the more interesting stuff.
With a publication date of spring 2015 I need to ensure that this story
is in tip-top shape so I cannot assume that readers will be able to read
my mind.
I'm a bit concerned that Chapter 2 now contains too
much 'tell' and not enough 'show' but since this section of Irene's life
is what I chose to focus on I must do my best to bring clarity to her
narrative. In addition to Irene's familial history the Chapter also
touches on Creature thoughts and experiences with Humans, enriching the
social environment of this story. I'm much more confident in its state
now but it and Chapter 3 will probably require some more touching up
before I'm completely satisfied (or as satisfied as an author ever is).
Below is a short excerpt for your reading pleasure:
“A little over a decade ago Humans established a research post on the
western edge of our island. After the casualties suffered during our
last encounter the Tribes were hesitant to engage them until we could
discern their intentions. When it appeared that they were minding their
own business in the structure our people ignored them.”
Tom strode to
the Cat Tribe leader’s other side, his arms crossing over his chest as
he favoured her with a frown. Arminius remained motionless near the
window.
“Your father was a young man then but his ambitions were
well-formed. He was a wandering male when he began courting your
mother. We’re not sure what his original intentions were towards her –
whether he was simply interested in learning more about Humans or
whether it had been his plan from the start to court her. Regardless,
Sandra Melina, a Human scientist studying biology, fell in love with
him.”
At first Alan’s words rolled off Irene like water. After
several seconds of silence in which the elder appeared to be trying to
read her thoughts Irene’s brain began to process the implications of his
words. My mother, a Human?"
Beautiful image depicting memory by
Gondalier
